Sunday, December 4, 2011

Buck Fears

I just watched a video on the CrossFit mainsite (http://www.crossfit.com/) about "Facing your Fears."  It featured a grown man facing his fear of swimming in open water.  A grown man that became emotional in front of the camera talking about his fear.

I hate having fear.  Why can't I be that child that doesn't understand fear and is FEARLESS!? 

I hate having fears that keep me from reaching a goal...from facing something new or exciting...from making me a stronger and BETTER person.

Some of my daily fears:
1) Not meeting my CF expectations and waking up one day with NO DRIVE.
2) Injuring/harming/hurting my patients - Do I push?  Do I not push?  Do I call the Dr.?
3) Hurting people.
4) Getting hurt by other people.
5) FAILURE.

And yet...if I don't face these fears I WILL NOT GAIN.
1) I won't face the bar and go from clean and jerking 75 pounds to 110 pounds in 1 week.
2) I won't help my patient get back to their life.
3 and 4) I won't take risks with relationships.
5) I won't grow...change...excell...achieve..

Yep.  Fears suck.  But not facing fears sucks more.

I want to grow...I want to gain. 

Buck Fears.

Saturday, December 3, 2011

The "Whatif" Poem

Whatif by Shel Silverstein

Last night, while I lay thinking here,
some Whatifs crawled inside my ear
and pranced and partied all night long
and sang their same old Whatif song:
Whatif I'm dumb in school?
Whatif they've closed the swimming pool?
Whatif I get beat up?
Whatif there's poison in my cup?
Whatif I start to cry?
Whatif I get sick and die?
Whatif I flunk that test?
Whatif green hair grows on my chest?
Whatif nobody likes me?
Whatif a bolt of lightning strikes me?
Whatif I don't grow talle?
Whatif my head starts getting smaller?
Whatif the fish won't bite?
Whatif the wind tears up my kite?
Whatif they start a war?
Whatif my parents get divorced?
Whatif the bus is late?
Whatif my teeth don't grow in straight?
Whatif I tear my pants?
Whatif I never learn to dance?
Everything seems well, and then
the nighttime Whatifs strike again!

Childhood poetry that continues to bring meaning to a 26-year-old adult.